In the April ,after maintaining close communication with the nurse manager for elderly care in the trust hospital where mum had been a patient , I was asked if would meet with the following people to discuss my complaint regarding my mums care while in the hospital, the head of acute nursing , the tissue viability nurse consultant, the matron for general medicine , a clinical educator and the senior sister from the ward where my mum had stayed. The titles were impressive and I think the hope was to intimidate me with the management hierarchy , but this wasn't the case. I concluded that they had brought these people in as there was genuine concern on their part about how my complaint could progress and the implications this would have. The role of the meeting from their point of view was clear from the outset- " what do you want from this meeting ?" was asked on multiple occasions - the inference being is this going on to a compensation claim ! I wanted them to see there had been clear areas of poor care and a lack of diligence on their part and I wanted them to address this for future ward users. They provided documents which supported my observations that basic cares such as turning and repositioning hadn't been carried out. Their evidence showed gaps of in some cases 12 hours where charts had not been filled in , although they felt this wasn't a true reflection of procedure on the ward this was the documentary evidence they had and that in itself should have been a clear concern that needed addressing instantly. They were happy to accept that there had been failings in the care Mum had received and I think their investigation had proved to them that they could not in fact defend much of what I had said in my complaint. The evidence they had found gave foundation to my comments and issues and they had no choice but to accept things had been lacking on the ward - and they admitted this wasn't a new issue. The meeting concluded with all the staff present offering me an unreserved apology " on this occasion we have failed to give the care and treatment which was expected " was their conclusion. This was for me a hollow victory I should not have been addressing these issues with them - but I had to and I felt in some way pleased that I had stood up for my Mum and held them to account, I hoped I had highlighted the problems on the ward and that maybe they would look to address them. Neil had come to the meeting with me as he felt I shouldn't go alone , he was an immense support , again I shocked him though as I once again became the single minded focused campaigner that wanted answers and wasn't going to be ignored. I understand evidence and the importance of record keeping in these situations and I was able to pick out the problems with the records they produced - they could't argue about what was there in black and white. I had held my position and fought my case achieving the apology that vindicated all I had been saying.Again I had kicked ass !!!!
Dad hadn't attended the meeting He was worn out with it all and wanted to spend the time with Mum - I didn't mind he deserved some quality time with her , just watching TV and not worrying about her. He had started collecting Rebecca from school one day a week and visiting us for tea , he had been shopping and spending time with friends all things he hadn't been able to do for the last few years. He was living again not just functioning.
He had been however struggling for a few months with a pain in his back and now he didn't have to worry about who would watch Mum while he went to the Drs I persuaded him to go to the Gp about it. The Gp arranged some X-rays for him and off we went hopeful we could get him sorted and pain free.
The following day my whole world fell apart - the X-ray of his spine had shown an abnormality - I am a radiographer so I knew what the upshot of the report was. The Gp asked him to come in to see him to get the full report , I made sure I was free to go with him. We were told Dad had a tumour in the vertebral bodies of his spine. This was likely to be metastatic deposit and because he had waited so long before going to Dr it was a large mass and extensive. I was heartbroken - I had been so strong about Mums illness but I never thought I would have to deal with this too. Dad took the news very well and to be honest I don't think he really understood what the Dr had told him. The Dr had explained things very well but I just think Dad maybe hadn't wanted to hear the news. We talked about the results but I never got the impression that the gravity of it had sunk in with Dad .Its fair to say the tears flowed that night, I thought I would never stop crying ,I just couldn't imagine my life without my Dad, we had been through so much together. I knew I had to be strong for him and not let him see me upset so the next morning normal service was resumed and I reverted back to the eternal organiser , chasing up clinic appointments and CT scan appointments for my Dad and speaking to colleagues about the likely outcome of further imaging. At least if I was prepared for what was coming I could get Dad through it !!!
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